My husband (who my marriage counselors told was likely a sociopath) was feeling discouraged.
After so many years of being his sole caregiver, 24/7, following a spinal cord injury, I was used to being attentive to his every mood change.
Something came into my body and pushed me far down.
It took over my hands and feet and tried to use the steering wheel to drive my truck off the cliff.
I don't feel genuine human affection, at least not the way other people do. No one else could possible imagine what they are like unless you live with them 24/7 or how much love and forgiveness we pour into them and how much we serve and want them to change and desire to be used of God as the power to their change, only to see it vaporize into what seems to be an eternal darkness. More and more, I’m seeing a need for deliverance for these people from a very young age.
I've always felt detached from the world around me, which could be to do with my upbringing. I have no joy, enthusiasm, I just feel like a ripped up piece of meat bleeding everywhere. I was only with her for less than a year total time, yet my heart has been ravaged unlike any other time. All I really know is choosing love every moment of the day is the way. We need more people trained to recognize these traits from a young age, for that’s often when it begins.
As I write this I weep for their souls, because most of them began experiencing demonic "help" from the time they were little children, even toddlers. love exposes darkness, like a doctor who exposes cancer cells and exposes those cells to radiation. Beginning to understand the pathology is the first step to extricating yourself. it may not be the same old life you had before you met this monster, but it can be even better. You have truly encouraged me today at a time when I was beginning to feel overpowered by the events and strategies being used against me. I always thought why hasn't God helped him and our family?
If we as the Body of Christ can WAKE UP and recognize the DANGER we are putting the sociopaths in by HIDING and DENYING the reality of what is really happening… The Light of Christ is the spirit of Truth, and truth is as radiation to cancer – it forces darkness to be eradicated. I’m not promising it’s easy or instant, just in getting some knowledge…. Sorry, just admitting I have moments of weakness too… And it was really powerful to know that someone else knows what it is like to be the only person to see what these pretenders are like out of the "limelight" of public view. But now I believe he has because my son does have remorse but will continue with all the other treaits of sociopathy. I gave him up to him awhile back I rarely speak to him unless he's been kicked out once more or fallen far again.
He traded his soul, I believe, for this dark "safe place" which took over and possessed his body…. I fear for their souls, but I believe they have hearts. You’re going to be all right but it does take a little bit of education, to begin to comprehend what your brain is doing – to crave such an evil person. Rhonda Freeman has to say about the neuroscience behind pathological love relationships. I have been saying this to the couple friends I have left and some of our more astute Christian leaders (most missionaries in other countries) who have agreed, but you are the only other person I have run across who is adamanat about their only hope and release from demonic oppression being through prayer and the healing force of God Himself. He has every trait except he never hurt animals for pleasure he has love in his heart I do know that for sure that could be from all the years on my knees I hope so.
There was a recent time, just prior to that incident, when he was driving over 65-mph and suddenly did a 180 degree, and my head crashed into the passenger window, which caused severe neck pain for awhile. We made it to our destination safely, but the tension was palapable. He was "out of his mind" for several hours; but it was still within his control.
We met up with the ranch owners, who suddenly drove in unexpectedly, right in the middle of one of his "breakdowns". Again, my son has language disorder, so I am unable to communicate the same way other parents might to help their child. I do not understand habing no empathy, or comscience.
I was barely able to get back control of my body."I have watched his body change as this being, which I believe was a demon, entered his body. His arms and legs would tremble, getting more and more violent, as his emotions went beserk.
It would take several hours of calming him down for him to return to "normal" – but normal was still a very unstable state.
I think I have only ever done good things because I know it is right, not because I love others as I love myself. Reply Dear friend, A sociopath would never stop to ponder if he/she were a sociopath. The world is cold-hearted and the church is often a victim of that coldness. I don't see the point of carrying on as I wanted to become capable of being an integrated, genuine person. I'd commit suicide but I don't think I've got the balls in case it went wrong. that is only what your natural mind and heart can comprehend. The good men in my life that treated me good never had this effect on me. He has a new girlfriend, 5 months in to our marriage. And though I have been learning and studying narcopathinc behavior for about four months now, this is all so new to me and still surreal. Nature is the best purifier of body, mind, and soul. When I listen to the parents of these children it seems the children all do and say the same things, just like an adult sociopath.